Long to Be Free
by The Button Harlequin
Summary: Link is a stripper/hooker that wants to get away from his pimp Gannondorf. When a friend recommends the Shadow of Hyrule to fix his problems he thinks he's found the answer but is the shadow really worth all the trouble? Especially when a scary secret threatens to over rule any and all rewards that could have been. AU, mature content, MxM, lots of bad language
1. Nothing Unusual, Something New

_**Long to be Free**_

Chapter 1: Nothing Unusual, Something New

There had been blood, sweat, and lots of screaming the first time he'd done it. The man wasn't very experienced, and they'd both had almost no idea of what to do. They'd both just done what seemed right at the time. Now, he almost didn't feel anything anymore, no matter if the man he was with was kind or cruel, ugly or beautiful, experienced or not. He really couldn't even care anymore.

He stood on the street corner between a liquor shop and strip club, the one that specialized in the more masculine variety of guilty pleasures. Today his ensemble consisted of tight black leather pants that laced up the side and just begged to be unlaced and played with, a dark green embroidered vest that was held together by only chains and some black boots with no amount of heel to speak of with a white diamond pattern. Nearly five o'clock in the afternoon, he'd only had two more hours until his job with the pole started and he wanted to supplement his inefficient income with as much as he could. Maybe that man walking towards him…?

He gave the man a flirtatious wink and leaned back just a little bit to make it appear as if he was inspecting the man with a coquettish grin, while in fact he did it to make his vest raise just enough to show off a sliver of sun-tanned skin. The man stopped in his tracks to look at him, and he could see the lust and desire begin to swirl at the backs of his eyes. "Who are you?" he asked quietly, taking in the visage before him: this boy was beautiful. His hair looked almost like it was spun out of gold, with the sun-bleached highlights like make shift beams of sunlight, and his sun-blessed skin not out of a machine but from the real sun and his eyes – oh goddesses, his eyes were like looking into the ocean's depths.

The man looked at the beauty as he waited for his answer. The beauty shrugged and with a smooth voice said, "Link."

Now that the man had his name, he was interested in something else entirely different. "I'm Robert. How much per hour?" the man asked, and if he had to sell something he would be back for the beauty. He was just too…something. Something that was unmistakably magnetic and attractive and entirely unavoidable.

The beauty, Link, thought about it for a moment before he said, "Two hundred." The man nodded and almost sighed in relief – he'd been told about the irresistible man on the corner of Nayru Street and Farore Boulevard. He'd taken two hundred and fifty out just in case, and he intended to use it exactly as he had planned. He told Link to follow him, and within minutes of their meeting they were in a seedy hotel only a block away from the street corner that Robert had found Link on.

The hotel girl at the counter didn't say a word as she took a key from the ledge that she reserved especially for her best customer while she took the fifty dollars from the new man that Link brought. The girl watched with the smallest amount of curiosity as Link led the man up to the room, recently cleaned and coincidentally right above the counter. The girl, whose name was Ky, took two steps closer to the wall behind the counter and put an empty glass cup to the wall, then putting her ear to the glass. Nothing yet…

"Hey Ky, what's your bet this time?" The blonde head of her coworker Stormy, a maid, poked out from behind the corner where she and their other coworker, another maid named Kess, were hiding and watching the proceedings of Link with the new man.

"I bet he's a uke," Kess stated, putting a sassy hand to his hip, "Did you see that haircut? The only thing he could be is submissive."

"I don't know Kess," Stormy said, "I don't think you saw how he looked at Link there. He has to be seme. What do you think Ky?"

"I think you both need to shush!" Ky adjusted the glass only slightly and listened as some rustling began, "I'm trying to listen! I bet he's an uke, that haircut with those shoes? Come on, he's an uke through and through, never mind that he was looking at Link like a steak. Oh, wait! I'm getting something! Keep quiet!" Utter silence as Ky listened in through the wall with her glass. She grimaced as she took her ear from the glass for just a second to say, "Yep, he's an uke." She put her ear back.

Stormy cursed under her breath while Kess did a victory dance that looked like Carmelldansen. "See?!" He danced the Carmelldansen around Stormy's glare, grinning all the while, "I told you it was the haircut that gave it away."

Stormy was about to say something smart to Kess when she noticed Ky's frown. "Ky? What's wrong? You won the bet. _You_ aren't the one that has to clean up the mess afterwards."

Ky raised an eyebrow at the blonde before stating, "Well that wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that I'm not a maid right? But that's not the point – Kess, go get Link some soup in a bottle would ya? It didn't sound like he was in a good mood just then."

Kess asked, "What makes you say that?"

Ky removed her ear from the glass again, putting the glass into its special place on the counter right next to the pitcher of water that was half empty. She held up a single hand with four fingers raised. "Link's made that guy have four orgasms in the last ten minutes. He never goes all out on customers he picks up unless he's in a hurry to be somewhere or Gannondork's being an ass again."

Kess nodded, "Too right girlfriend. I'll go get that soup – do you think he'll want a cup, a bottle, or a thermos?" Above their heads they heard a loud moaning scream that faded into intense pleasure and silence. "Damn, might as well give him the whole tureen."

Stormy nodded, "Might be a good idea." Kess ran off to go fetch the soup while Stormy slipped behind the counter with Ky to talk with the auburn haired girl. "So what are you thinking this time? Do you think it's Gannondorf or something else?"

"I'm not sure," she answered, leaning against the counter on her elbows, "But I do know this – he makes the absolute best material for writing."

Stormy rolled her eyes, "You're such a yaoi writer."

"Yes I am. I'm also a yuri, shonen-ai, shoujo-ai, fantasy, sci-fi, historical, mystery, action, adventure, romance, and tragedy writer. Did I miss anything?" Stormy rolled her eyes once again but said nothing while she chuckled.

When Link finally stomped downstairs twenty minutes later, looking like he just rolled out of bed with a hoard of raccoons, Kess had already grabbed the soup (the whole tureen with a bowl and a spoon, with also a thermos just in case) and Stormy and Ky were waiting for him at the counter.

Kess's eyebrows raised into his short bangs. "Dang, he was rough wasn't he?"

Link just scowled but nodded at the man-maid. He looked to Stormy and Ky with the question that he didn't have to ask. "Yep, we got some food for ya luv," Stormy said, opening the door to the office behind the counter where Kess had set out the soup with some bread and coffee, "Go ahead and eat up."

Link disappeared behind the counter into the back room, where he devoured the soup with gusto. Kess looked at his nasty looking clothes and asked him, "Do you want to change?" Link nodded but didn't stop eating, just slowed down to be presentable. "Do you want bum, normal, nice, sexy, super sexy, or hot-damn-fall-on-your-face?"

Link thought about it for just a moment, "Normal." Kess scurried off to get the clothes he asked for – let me ask you this, how long do _you_ think that Link's been going there?

Ky and Stormy sat across from Link, concern on Stormy's face while mild amusement was on Ky's. "So Link," Ky started, taking a small sip from her ultra mocha cup of coffee, "What's new with you? Find a way to get Gannonass off your back yet?"

Link stopped eating and sighed with a heavy heart, "No. At this rate he'll never let me buy out."

"Why not?" Stormy asked, "Haven't you paid your dues yet?"

"I can't!" Link said with exasperation, throwing his empty hands up to emphasize the fact, "He keeps coming up with new dues so that I can never pay out."

"Well you are his biggest bread winner," Ky said, "In a business sense it's best to keep you on. But, were you to be ugly and disgusting then he probably would've let you go a long time ago. Ah, the pain of beauty is quite the curse for you indeed."

"I'm back~!" Kess announced, throwing open the door dramatically with a black bag in hand, "And with your clothes!" Link gave him a sunny smile, making the boy swoon and fall to the ground while giving Stormy a minor nosebleed. Ky just sat there, grinning back as she got up and threw the bag of clothes to the sighing hooker, who caught it with ease.

"You should probably go change," Ky said still grinning, handing Stormy a tissue which was promptly shoved up her nose, "Don't worry, we've got you covered." Link nodded gratefully and disappeared into the employee's bathroom. "Ah, wonderful time to be a lesbian," she grinned.

"Should we tell him?" Stormy asked, ignoring Ky's smirks at the tissue in her nose, "About the guy we heard about?"

"Of course we should tell him!" Kess hopped up from his faint like nothing happened, "He can't keep living like this forever. He needs to be free and have fun – like a butterfly!"

"That settles it then," Ky said, beginning to pull up some documents from files present in the back room they were in, "We tell him about the Shadow."

"What shadow?" Link came in wearing a green knit sweater that seemed slightly too big for him, a pair of brown corduroy pants and plain black converse that were all pulled together with a wonderfully knit green beanie cap.

"There's this guy out on the streets whose name is the Shadow," Stormy explained, checking her tissue again and, finding that the blood had stopped, tossed it ungracefully into the trashcan beside her. "For a fee, he'll help anyone or do anything, no matter what it may be. I heard that he once defeated an entire British mafia syndicate with just a toothbrush and a bottle of laxatives!"

"So we have all agreed," Ky interjected, "That if this Shadow person can defeat His Royal Highness King Pin then he might have a chance at defeating Gannonjerk." She flipped open the manila folder in her hand to hold up a picture of a vague looking black figure in a long black trench coat. "Nobody on the streets really knows all that much about this guy. I had to give an arm and a leg to get these photographs. I won't tell you who I got them from."

Link waved away her secrecy, "Don't worry, I won't ask who gave you the photos."

Ky gave the blond hooker a sly sideways grin, "Where I got the _photos_…sure, let's go with that."

"But anyway, his price can be anything," Kess continued from where Stormy left off, "Like, it can be your dog, or money or your deepest darkest secret. Rumor has it that – don't sing that song Stormy! _Cierra la boca!_ But anyway, I heard that he once took a guy and girl's virginity on the same night – they were twins! Can you imagine that threesome? Ew!" Ky held up a photo of two people, a boy and a girl with the same dark eyes and the same bright green hair. They were smiling at something behind the shot of the camera.

Link ignored the rest of Kess's ramblings, deeply contemplating what the three had told him, staring at the photo. "Can you get me contact with him?"

"We can," Ky grinned with all of her teeth, sending foreboding shivers down all of their backs, "And I have. I have something that is wanting to be taken care of as well – I'll just set you up an appointment with the dear Shadow and we'll be done with it. I'll call you when I get the date."

Link nodded his thanks, said his good-bye's until next times to the three hotel workers and walked out the seedy hotel to go to work. Ky went out to the front desk to man her station while Kess cleaned up Link's meal, putting some soup in a thermos, and Stormy got her cleaning supplies ready for action. Sometime later, about an hour after Link left, the man finally stumbled down the stairs, disheveled but extremely wide eyed and excited. "Fun time?" Ky asked, taking the key back from the man named Robert.

Robert nodded enthusiastically, "Holy fucking yes! He's _amazing_! Next time I'm going to have to four or six hundred dollars and ask him to keep it slow 'cuz hot damn he made he made me cum quick! And _six times!_ God, he's just the – " the subject poor Robert was talking about finally caught up with him as he noticed Ky's amused Cheshire smile. His face turned intensely red as he shuffled out of the hotel door as fast as his aching ass would allow.

Once the door was properly closed Ky burst out laughing, not bothering to hold in the bellows of humor that she was trying to quell when Robert was talking to her. "Ok Storm'," she managed to gasp out between wheezes of hilarity, trying but epically failing to control herself, "Now you can go and clean up the room now."

Stormy grumbled as she took her arsenal of cleaning supplies with her to the dreaded room above the counter while Kess had finished cleaning up and stood with the auburn haired counter girl, putting the thermos of soup in the counter drawer. Kess and Ky silently mapped Stormy's progress by memory and sound of her groaning in despair. "I bet you she finds cum stains on the walls," Kess said, his hand itching towards his bottle of disinfectant.

Ky grinned and said, "Bet you a large trenta Starbucks frappaccino that she didn't find cum stains on the walls but instead she found toys instead."

"Oh, you're on!" Kess and Ky shook hands in manly (?) agreement. Only seconds later, Stormy came down with the bed sheets bundled up and a grimace easily pronounced on her pale features. "So what'd you find Stormy?" Kess asked nonchalantly, taking a peek into the folds of the dirty bed sheets without coming within two feet of them. "How were the walls?"

"What about the walls?" Stormy asked suspiciously, placing the bed sheets in the hamper in the office while digging through them, "They were fine. But I found some weird stuff. I think they're sex toys." Ky grinned triumphantly as Kess cursed his bad luck and began rummaging through his pocket for the money to buy Starbucks anything, let alone coffee.

"Let me see them," Ky dipped a newly gloved hand into the hampers and pulled out a large green leaf the size of a human torso. "Whoa ho ho! And what were they doing with this?" She dipped her hand in the sheets again and pulled out a white boomerang that was simple and wooden, and suspiciously deadly. She stared at the toy for a moment. "You know what. I don't even want to know."

The blonde girl nodded. "I completely agree with you."

Outside the back room the counter bell was ringing. Ky went out and saw Link there in his normal clothes. He gave her a sheepish look and Ky knew exactly what he came back for. "Yep, Kess got it ready for you," she said, pulling out the thermos from the counter and giving it to Link. He nodded his thanks and was about to leave when Ky asked him, "We found a Deku Leaf and a Boomerang. You wouldn't happen to know anything about those, would you?"

Stormy and Kess peeked around the corner to listen in more properly to Link's explanation. Link felt the heat rise up in his face but Ky's eyes bore into him like a drill trying to find some gold – or golden material in her case. He coughed awkwardly into his hand that sounded suspiciously like, "*_cough* _those are mine *_cough_*" Ky grinned and handed him the toys with her gloved hands, ignoring the wide eyed stares of her coworkers. Link snatched the toys from her hands and ran out of the hotel.

Ky grinned to her two coworkers, leaning against the counter triumphantly, "And that, dear colleagues, is what I call a man who keeps his secret ninja hobbies to himself. He's got such a hero dream, poor dear. No doubt that's why he picked up that poor dear Zelda."

"You mean you knew those weren't sex toys?" Kess blurted out in frustration, "But that's so disappointing! I really wanted Link to be super kinky. I mean, wouldn't that be so exciting?"

Stormy raised an eyebrow at Kess, "I think he'd shank you if he heard you say that. And Ky, how did you know that those weren't sex toys if you said so earlier that they were?"

"I never said that they were _sex_ toys, I just said that they were toys. Now go get me my coffee." Kess grumbled as he stomped out the hotel for the Starbucks five blocks away while Stormy went back to her work in the room above the counter. Ky smirked as she leaned on the counter and slapped a notebook on the counter, writing down what she thought for the day. Then, what she needed to talk to the Shadow about. She grumbled to herself, "Hopefully he can do it."


	2. Time to Go to Work

Chapter 2: Have to Go to Work

Link arrived at Gerudo Fantasies, the strip club that specialized in only the most exotic and/or perfect beauties, double X chromosomes or otherwise. Seeing the line already beginning to form outside the door almost an hour before it opened, he slipped through the back door into the dressing rooms where several of his fellow strippers were already getting ready, both male and female.

Link, sharing his space with a farm girl named Ilia, began to get to work, pulling off his normal comfortable clothes for the nearly nonexistent ensemble of that night's show. Link vaguely noticed that Ilia was watching him pull on the black leather booty shorts that cupped his butt perfectly and the strappy black leather boots with the hints of red in between the many buttons and a red sole. His shirt – ha! What shirt? It was just a black and red stripped bow tie with a pair of dangling golden tear drops from thin golden chains. On his wrists went the red shirt cuffs with the black buttons with the golden center. Link raised an annoyed eyebrow to Ilia the farm girl, her face red all the way up to her boyishly short dirty blonde hair. She hadn't even begun to get dressed. Link sighed. This always happened when they got new people, always had to stare at him like he was another breed of human being.

"Do you need help?" Link asked the farm girl. She gave a start of embarrassing surprise, slinging her entire body to her station and tried to ignore Link stubbornly while at the same time trying to make heads or tails of the large make-up selection and the outfit she was supposed to wear.

"No! Sorry, I didn't mean to stare! I mean, I was just trying to figure out how to do tonight's outfit…" Link watched out of the corner of his eye Ilia staring at the outfit like it was the most complex puzzle in the world. Link fixed and hair sprayed his hair into the perfect windswept look, all the while watching with amusement and pity as Ilia tried to guess as to where the outfit started and then ended. She eventually gave in and asked pitifully, "Link, can you help me?"

Link gave her a gentle smile and stood up from his space, everything finished but the stage make-up. He held the short, maid's dress up the right way, the black and red ribbons lacing up the front to show everything in the middle from her breasts to just above her panty line and all the way down her back to just above her perfectly rounded ass. The red and black skirt was almost nonexistent, only a little poof to just below her behind and just in front of her privates. "Oh!" Ilia looked like she'd rather sink into the floor and never rise again than to wear the dress, never mind the black fishnets and the red and black high heels. "God, it's just so…not there." Link nodded sympathetically and helped the red faced girl into the dress and the outfit, also putting on the dramatic and glittery make-up that was suited for the stage and for walking the floor, putting on his own in the process.

"Why hello there Link!" Link rolled his eyes as he heard the big, booming voice of Groose, the main bouncer for Gerudo Fantasies, a big man with an infamous red pompadour that sent the trouble makers running. Groose slung a possessive arm around Link's shoulders, snuggling up uncomfortably close. "Ready for our date tomorrow?"

Link raised an annoyed eyebrow, brushing off Groose's arm. "You mean the one where you were dreaming and the whole thing never happened?"

Ilia giggled at Groose's overdramatic sigh and hand to his heart like he was wounded. "Oh Link, was that really just a dream? Sure you don't want to make it a reality?"

"Very sure." Groose admitted defeat at Link's flat response and retreated to his station at the door, where a long line down the entire block was now formed.

One should probably explain the contents of Gerudo Fantasies and its exterior: it used to be a large warehouse that was converted with orange neon lettering and a complete interior refurbishment. The entire inside was open and if one looked straight up they would've seen a glass ceiling where lights were pushed through to attract even more people. The walls had long perimeters of concrete landings that allowed for watching of the shows on the awesome stage on the farthest wall from the door with long metal poles and wonderfully bare wood flooring. How one got to the landings were by iron staircases that reached them, and in the center of each landing was a fully stocked bar with stools and along the walls several small tables. On the main floor the walls had booths and towards the outer edges the small tables continued until they met the large and open center of the floor for any dancers who wanted to dance or for extended shows that were usually the encores. Each night a new theme would surround the club, making each night a surprise for the patrons. Tonight: Naughty Servant Night.

"Good evening ladies and gentle men," came the quiet, commanding voice at the very end of the pimp that all of them had: Gannondorf. He was a huge giant of a man with bulging muscles and the thin small eye of one who had seen everything dark the world had to offer and had done everything the world had told him not to do. His red hair was a sharp contrast to his dark tan skin, but for some reason that made him all the more terrifying when he crossed his arms and commanded attention when he didn't even need to say a word, like what he was doing at that very moment. "I hope that you are excited for tonight's show," he continued in his quiet but heard everywhere voice, "Tonight is one of our best shows for revenue. First on the floor are going to be the men. Then women shall be working the poles for now, but the second half of the night the men will perform. Link, you are staring in tonight's show." Gannondorf bored his overpowering eyes into Link's strong ones, daring him to defy him.

Link not even gracing the pimp with a proper answer, simply nodded and looked away. The other performers in the room mumbled their acknowledgements and left, giving Link either a pitiful glance or the evil eye – the star always got more money than the background dancers. Link, being at the back, had no choice but to wait under Gannondorf's fierce eyes that were narrowed in suspicion and lust. _Three more seconds! _Link thought, gauging how long it was until he could run out. _Two more seconds! One more - !_

"Link," rumbled the voice, "see me in my office." _Damn it!_ Gannondorf held open the door that was hidden in the shadows of the farthest corner at the back – right next to Link's station. Link sighed and dragged his feet into the dimly lit office, Gannondorf closing the door behind him silently. Gannondorf, in all of his control freak ways, kept his office impeccably neat without a spot of dust, the lamp on his desk the single light source in the entire room.

Link knew what Gannondorf wanted and sat down in the single chair facing the desk, waiting for the usual routine to begin. The big pimp sat in his comfortable rolling chair and leaned his elbows on his desk, making a steeple of his fingers. He examined Link with his shrewd eyes, undressing him with them while at the same time gauging how much Link had earned already. He held out one of his big hands, "Give me the two hundred dollars you earned."

Link wanted to throw the money at the pimp but knew what would happen if he did. The dim light wasn't for scary effect – it was for hiding the red and white stains on the walls and the floor. Instead, he handed the money to him from the secret money pouch in his shorts on the inside of his thigh. He handed him the two Benjamins, glaring at him all the while. Gannondorf took the money and, digging through his top drawer in his desk where he kept the spare change, gave Link a fifty dollar bill in exchange. Link glared at the dollar bill like it was the ugliest spare tire in the world, but when one of the tires you have is flat then the only spare you have is the only spare that will work. Link snatched the dollar bill from Gannondorf, shoving it into his inner thigh pocket.

Gannondorf smirked at the flaming look that Link was struggling to contain. He loved it when the blond was so riled up. It made things go so much sweeter if he always had his way and the blond only got to stand by and watch. The red head glanced at the clock and smirked again at all the time that he could hold Link for and still turn a handsome profit off of him later. Oh what to do, what to do…

Link sat stiffly in the seat across from his pimp, waiting, just waiting, for whatever was commanded of him next. That was all he was now after all, a dog to wait hand and foot on a man that he hated with every fiber of his being. And all he could do, was take it.

Gannondorf finally decided what he wanted to happen. He stared the blond right in the eye as he said, no ordered, "Take off the shorts." Link trembled in rage as he stood up and did as was commanded of him, letting the skimpy little things called shorts drop to the floor unceremoniously. Now it was just a tiny pair of black bikini briefs that left nothing to the imagination, as was part of the costume that Gannondorf had ordered. "Now lie down and spread your legs." Link did that too, resisting the unfathomable urge to simply run away and at the same time throw the chair over Gannondorf's head.

The large man knelt down, towering over Link's prone figure like a lion would the helpless gazelle. He slid away the small black briefs slowly, maddeningly slowly, until nothing remained between him and his prize. But no, he wouldn't do anything just yet, just examine to see if he could get the highest price for him at the end of the night. He first inspected the small opening to Link's sexual prowess, both of them, thoroughly and with more touching than he ought to have allowed himself. In went one finger, just one single sausage like finger – yes, he was tight, quite tight in fact, he could get a lot of money for him tonight.

But did he want to?

Gannondorf removed the single finger to the relief of the poor prostitute beneath him, but Link didn't let him know that. When Gannondorf told him he would have a customer that night after the show Link didn't flinch. In fact, he didn't show any emotion at all, just a small nod of acceptance.

He was dismissed. Link almost ran out of the office before the pimp could change his mind, fixing his shorts and briefs as he did so. Just ten feet from the small walkway that led to the pumping music of the club, Link pushed his forehead and entire person up against the wall, blocking the music and recent memories from his mind so that he wouldn't go completely insane.

_That's right, breathe in and out, slowly and deeply. Russell always said that deep breaths were great for calming people down. My heart beat's going down…good. Sigh, suppose it's time to go to work. RING! RING! RING!_ Went the cell phone on his make-up station. _Let me out, I'm stuck in your pocket! Let me out I told you that I'm stuck in your pocket!_

Link glanced back at Gannondorf's office, but saw no threat coming from inside. He snatched the phone from the stand on the third ring. "Ky. Anything?"

Link could almost see the way that the auburn haired girl would roll her eyes at his short speech as she said, "You know what, good to speak you too chatter box. Hey listen, I got you that appointment set up with the Shadow. Tomorrow morning right after you get off at four you need to show up at Mama Michi's café a couple blocks over from the hotel. Do you remember the place? Oh wait, what a silly question to ask you, you remember what you did five years ago at random days and times. Anyway, she's letting the two of you use her back room for the meeting. Don't be late got it? It took quite a bit of persistence on my part to even agree to meet you, let alone take your case. See you round." _Click!_ The line beeped incessantly as the other side of the line went dead.

Like he was in a dream, Link flipped the phone shut and walked slowly to the small walkway, like he barely registered its existence. _It's happening! It's really happening! I'm going to be free!_ Imagine if you will, how much time had Link wasted, longing to be free?


	3. Meeting the Shadow

Chapter 3: Meeting the Shadow

It's quite rare in this life that one gets the chance to make their life's greatest urge come to fruition, and even rarer sometimes to make it happen at all. So went the thought process of Link as he hurried down the dark street in the ungodly hours of the morning to The Hatter's Place, a small and unusual café only several blocks from Stormy, Kess, and Ky's hotel where they worked. He was in his normal clothes again, slightly rushed looking perhaps but dignified nonetheless. At least he washed all the cum off, now _that_ would have make quite the first impression. But then again, there was only so fast that he could half-limp down a street now couldn't he?

He arrived in front of The Hatter's Place at 3:55 in the morning, but the light inside was still on, serving the Goths and the ultra drunken people until they closed and reopened at eight in the morning. Once inside he approached a rounded and stubbornly jolly looking woman wiping down the counter to close up shop for the night, letting out the last of her customers with a smile and a cheery goodbye. The woman, Mama Michi, took one look at him and grinned. "Don' worry dearie," she said with her heavy Irish accent, "Da Shadow is waitin' patiently for ye."

Link nodded his thanks with his own small smile and hurried into the little back room that Mama Michi had pointed to. Inside was simply a single hanging lamp that cast heavy shadows in the deep corners of the room and also a single small square table and four wooden chairs. An abandoned pack of old playing cards was on the corner of the table, letting Link realize that the room was a break room for the staff. Not knowing what else to do, Link took a seat at one of the tables, sitting down gingerly to keep the pain simply dull and familiar than the usual sharp and irritating. He looked around for the Shadow, but apparently Mama Michi was mistaken as he was not there. He leaned back in his chair a little bit to try and get some relief to his aching behind but none really came. Damn, why did the guy not prepare him even a little bit? That was so rude!

Nothing happened while he sat there. He waited till four, when Mama Michi wished him luck and goodnight and went home, leaving only the single light on overhead. Still he waited patiently for the Shadow to arrive, and as he heard the tinkling sounds of the main entrance doorbells and the clicks of a turning key he finally heard a voice. "Are you Link?"

The mentioned whirled his head around and around the dimly lit area, wondering where in the world the voice had come from when nobody had entered and stayed that he didn't know about. He nodded, listening in on where the voice would then show itself. In the darkest corner where the blackness was thickest, the voice spoke once again, "I am the Shadow. I heard that you wanted me to do something for you. What is it that you wish to happen?"

Link's brow furrowed in a deep frown, simply from frustration at his thoughts. "My name is Link. I don't know what Ky has told you," he began, "but I need help. I am a prostitute and a stripper you see, and I'm trying to buy my way out but the pimp that controls the area, Gannondorf, won't let me go. I need you to help me get my freedom. I don't want to be a sex slave for the rest of my life. What can we or you or I or whoever, do to give me my freedom?"

For just a moment the Shadow was silent. Then, a raucous laughter erupted from the corner, bellowing out in peals of unforgiving chuckles and cruel humor. "Of course! Of course!"

Link scowled. He growled, "What's so funny?"

The laughter stopped abruptly. Another small pause of silence before the Shadow said, "She really didn't tell you anything? Nothing at all?"

"Who, Ky? She said that she set up a meeting for me with you. That's all."

"Oh, this is RICH! I get to meet you and you turn out to be a – never mind. Just look at me and see if there's anything even slightly familiar between the both of us." A single step into the light sent Link's entire world reeling.

The Shadow was aptly named, as his entire being seemed to coexist with the darkness itself in some kind of twisted, harmonious way. Dressed similarly to Link, the Shadow wore a black sweater that seemed just a size too small and his jeans just a size too tight, with a black knit beanie cap adorning his head. His hair was white as the freshly fallen snow, soft and silky by the looks of it, swaying beautifully into the face of a stunner of a man. His bone structure was absolutely perfect, not a flaw on his skin but his skin itself was probably all in itself a flaw, as it was as gray and as silver sheened as moonlight on pavement. His eyes though, were both stunning and terrifying. Two ruby gems cut perfectly to accentuate the face and the silver of his skin, not a man was more unusual looking or beautiful as the man that stood before Link. But that still didn't shock him as much as something else: the Shadow, man who could do anything and solve anything, was the very image of Link himself, as a shadow.

_The_ Shadow.

"Surprised?" the Shadow asked sarcastically, rolling his ruby eyes to the ceiling, "I'd never have thought to meet the twin brother I never knew I had. Then some chick from some skanky hoe-tel decides to tell me 'hey shadow guy, you have a twin brother, but I'm not going to tell you anything about him to keep the suspense going'. Yeah, real sweet of your gal friend to not tell me ahead of time."

Link was struggling to find any kind of word that would escape from his mouth. "She's just my lesbian friend. But wait, what? Ky didn't tell you what ahead of time?"

The Shadow sneered down at his look alike with disgust, "That you'd be a hooker. I always dreamed that I'd have a brother but I didn't think that he would be lower than I was on the food chain."

Link's mouth dropped into indignant anger. His newly found twin brother had _that_ to say to him? Link stood up from the table suddenly, his chair toppling to the ground behind him, ignoring the sudden and sharp pain. "Fine, if you want to be an asshole about my life then go ahead, but I still need your help. I don't want to live like this my entire young life! If you won't help me as a brother then fine, if you won't acknowledge me as a brother then fine, if you want to find Ky annoying then that's fine. But at least have greed to help me as a customer! I'll do anything!"

The Shadow rubbed his chin thoughtfully, thinking about the scenario very thoroughly through his mind. On the one hand, help his long lost twin brother and still get paid. On the other hand, help somebody who didn't pay for the meeting and get chewed out by Midna…

"You said you'll pay anything?" the Shadow confirmed, looking to the light reflection of himself, "An arm, a leg, a heart?"

"_Anything._"

The Shadow grinned at Link's solid answer. "Even showing off your best skills to, I don't know, metaphorically speaking, me?"

Link felt the bile rise up the back of his throat with the urge to throw up. Using his skills on somebody that he didn't know was one thing, but on his brother? His twin brother? The one that looked exactly like him? That was disgusting! Link swallowed down the vomit and nodded quickly before his better senses took over the decision making skills.

The Shadow grinned again and held out some papers from who knows where. "Then sign the contract and we have a deal. You will use all of your skills if I want it when I want it. Understood, my dear _brother_?"

Link snatched the paper and signed it with the black pen with a fury that he didn't want the Shadow to see – no need to give him any satisfaction just yet over his one battle won. Oh, but he would definitely win the war over his shadow side, that he could promise. Link shoved the paper back into the Shadow's waiting eager hands. "The least you could do is tell me your name," Link mumbled, keeping his anger and irritation to himself, "You are my brother after all. Do you know anything about our parents? Where we come from or who gave us to the world but not a life worth living?"

The Shadow paused. He contemplated the answer that he knew and the questions that were his own, hoping that Link had the answer to them. "I can't answer what I don't know," the Shadow spat, "But my name is Shadow. I never had a real name like you. Now go home – I need to figure out what to do. I'll contact you when I'm ready to move forward with the plan. Until then," Shadow winked at Link and fluttered his hands towards the door, "keep my place in line for me, Link."

Link swallowed the little bit of pity that he had for his brother that battled his irritation for dominance. Eventually, the pity won out. Shadow, too, knew nothing about themselves? Why was he so bitter when asked about his name? And how was he raised? He wanted to ask those questions, but at the same time knew that he wouldn't be welcome to asking them. So he stood up, politely if curtly nodded his thanks, and left without another word. Shadow watched him go with mixed emotions, something that was altogether alien and unfamiliar. Him, the Shadow of Hyrule City, was unsure of himself? That was impossible by any standards that were set by the human race.

Shadow slipped out the backdoor, walking the dark streets without a care in the world. This was his time, this was his dominion, this was – _Don't pick it up it's a bitch calling! Don't pick it up it's a bitch calling!_ Shadow sighed and picked up his phone anyway.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!" Shadow cringed and held the phone away from his ear. "FIRST YOU MEET UP WITH THAT CHICK AND NOW YOU TAKE ON AN ASSINGMENT WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!" Oh yeah, Midna sounded pissed.

"Don't worry Midna," Shadow said soothingly to try and quell the draconian woman, knowing that any other way would just get him into deeper trouble than he already was, "Everything is just fine. In fact, I'm pretty sure we're going to get a lot out of this."

Midna was still fuming on the other end of the line, Shadow felt it, but at least now she was interested in what was to be said. "What kind of payment are we talking here?"

"Some very interesting skill sets and apparently lots of semi-naked people or entirely naked people, depending on what time of night it is." There was a mediocre silence at the other end of the line as Midna contemplated what was being offered. Hearing that she still wasn't totally convinced he said, "And there's taking down evil pimp lords. And my long lost twin brother is a hooker and a stripper."

Utter silence at the end of the line. If there was a pin dropped on the other end then Shadow was convinced that he could have heard it. "Are you serious?" she asked dubiously. Obviously she was taking it as hard to swallow as Shadow was. "You seriously have a long lost twin brother who is not only a stripper, but a hooker too?"

Shadow grinded his teeth together, "Yes."

Midna suddenly erupted in hysterical laughter, like it was just as it should be even if it was a complete and total surprise. "Ah ha! That's just so like your luck! Find the brother that you always wanted and what do you know? He's a stripping hooker! Bwa ha ha ha ha!"

"Ha ha ha. That was so funny I forgot to laugh. Just get the stupid equipment ready Midna."

"Aye aye, _Madame Shadow_. Bwa ha ha ha ha!" Shadow jabbed the little disconnect button on the phone viciously, like if it was Midna's eye than that would have been all the sweeter.

"Stupid Midna," he muttered to himself, kicking a discarded beer bottle out of his way and into the barren street. He secretly hoped that it would pop a car's tire. "Thinks she's all that just 'cuz she's the boss' daughter. Whatever, at least I get field duty. But wait, if the first step is infiltration then…" Shadow paused a moment, thought a moment, and then gave the most horrified look to nobody in particular, "_I'm going to have to be a stripping hooker?!"_

**A/N: You know, the thing I always forget are those author's notes. I never have anything interesting to say except a random fact every now and again. Here it is – **

**Random Fact: 98% of all giraffe copulations are between two males. You can't really blame them, I mean, can you imagine how much neck strain they would get by trying to look down there? "Hey buddy, can you lift up your leg a little bit, I can't tell if you're a girl or a guy." Awkward much. That would explain why giraffes always walk funny too.**

**Disclaimer: Do I own The Legend of Zelda? Well, gee, I wish but that's the one thing I can't get for Christmas – Santa said that I lit the fire under his ass too many times.**


	4. Step 1 - Infiltration

Chapter 4: Step 1 – Infiltration

Link stepped up to his dingy apartment door and turned the lock but once inside locked it right back up again. In a neighborhood of drug labs and under the table dealings it was not only the best but also the safest thing to do. At least the neighbors above him weren't arguing anymore…that could have something to do with the brand new red stain on his ceiling though.

Link sighed and took off his shoes in the bare narrow hallway, dimly lit to keep down electricity bills but still surprisingly clean. It should be, considering all the time Zelda fretted over the conditions of their tiny apartment. He walked past the tiny kitchen to the small bedroom where he could hear the mutterings of what sounded like two people using the same set of vocal cords.

"But I'm telling you dear that Vladimir shouldn't be with Elisa and that he should be with Georgiana. It just makes sense for him to be happy."

"No way! Georgiana's a bitch with a capital B and Elisa has had a crush on him since they were twelve. He should get together with Elisa already and quit complaining. Not everyone has such an easy time getting a girlfriend you know."

Sigh. "I know very well of what you speak."

Link tapped the bedroom door frame with a single knuckle softly, gaining the attentions of the 1.5 people in the room. There, sitting at the vanity shoved in the corner next to the second small bed was a fair skinned girl with golden blonde locks drifting down her back and the big deep blue eyes of somebody that has seen far too much but is only innocent because they cannot understand it. Her clothes were a mixed mess, as was the way her golden hair was tied up. She was dressed in a simple cotton pink and yellow dress and dark blue worn fisherman's pants tied up with a piece of old rope. Her hair was only half up in the back, like only half of her desired it to be up and the other half wanted it to swing gently by her face.

The girl's face, Zelda's face, brightened up immediately when she saw Link's person. "Oh Link! It's so good to see you again! Tetra and I were just discussing whether Vladimir should marry Elisa or Georgiana and it's quite the pickle at the moment." Zelda's sweet and innocent face switched drastically over to a commanding and powerful face like a light had been switched inside her brain.

"And Zelda thinks that Vlad should end up with Georgiana while I say that he should end up with Elisa," Tetra stated, swiping away a particularly annoying lock of hair from her face, "Anyone with any sensibility could see them ending up together from the very start of the story."

Link nodded like he knew something important about relationships when he only knew one thing – never get started in one. Zelda/Tetra wanted to have a relationship of their own with somebody else, but thanks to their constantly conflicting opinions they could never totally agree, and when you shared the same body agreement was the most important thing that they could do.

Zelda sighed and tapped the pen in her hand against the vanity table restlessly. A notebook in front of her was open and the pages were scribbled in with both small neat handwriting and the scrawl of somebody with no manners. "We just cannot decide who Vladimir should end up with," Zelda said mournfully, tapping the pen cap gently on her fingers, "Maybe Elisa or Georgiana, but who?"

Tetra snorted cynically and began tapping the pen against her knee, "Knowing us it's going to be another week before we can get these things decided. Alfonso is good about giving us extra time, but there's only so long that he can wait…"

Link nodded as he understood their editor's predicament. Not only did he have to edit Zelda and Tetra's work but he also had to fend off hungry fans from meeting the authors of their favorite series _In Time the Hero Comes_. Sure their books sold like hotcakes, but their therapy and paying their share of the tiny apartment and basic living expenses kept them down almost as much as Link.

"Zelda, Tetra," Link said, gaining their attention almost immediately, "I may have found a way to beat Gannondorf."

Zelda squealed in happiness, "That's fantastic Link! How?"

"Now hold on a minute," Tetra tried to reign in Zelda's happiness with her level headedness, "When did you find this out? And what's the catch?"

Link explained everything to the one and a half of them, Zelda breaking through Tetra's hardedge with her sophisticated smile multiple times. "That's it," Link finished, already sprawled on his own tiny bed with a wonderfully green knitted windsock cap on his head for sleep, "Now we just wait for Shadow."

"Oh how wonderful this is Link!" Zelda announced, overjoyed for her friend, "Not only will we finally be rid of Gannondorf but you have a brother too! Maybe once this is all over we can go and visit the forest again, that lovely little village on the outskirts of Hyrule, oh what was it called?"

"Kokiri Village," Tetra said, grinning with her lopsided smile for her friend, "but personally I think that we should go to the sea again afterwards. I always loved sailing on those big rental boats."

Link nodded and smiled gently as the 1.5 girls discussed the plans that they would all do after they were ridded of Gannondorf. He didn't think that it would be that easy but he could dream and hope for the best. Now all they had to do was – _KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!_ Who was that?

"Hey Link! Liiiiiiinnnnnkkkk! Open up it's me!" Link saw Zelda and Tetra give a start in surprise but that didn't stop Link from rushing to the door and swinging it open to reveal Shadow in his black and gray clothes looking agitated and another person standing just behind him. Though he didn't question how the Shadow had found him, he did question how in the world the person next to him even managed to exist outside of a hard-core porno.

She was no doubt very tall and slender and beautiful, like a lovely French model but Link had a feeling that she wasn't from France. Like Shadow her skin was silver sheened and the color of moonlight on the sidewalk but her hair was long and luxuriously orange with the brightest orange colored eyes that he had ever seen. Dressed in a black corset to show off her skin, black jeans and flat black boots, she almost looked like somebody that could have worked with Link in Gerudo Fantasies. On her shoulders was a black backpack and on Shadow's back another black backpack almost twice the size of the woman's. He didn't look happy but the woman was grinning down at him as she saw his face.

"You were right Shadow," she said as she brushed past Link into the small kitchen area with the small table and plopped her well-shaped butt into an old and rickety chair, "He really does look like the sun's child of you. Nice to meet you by the way Link, I'm Midna. I'll be the tech support so you can count on my directions. It was originally going to be Navi but I just couldn't pass up the chance to meet you." Midna continued on unloading her backpack with laptops, small gizmos, and an assortment of gadgets.

Shadow rolled his eyes at Midna and barged his way into the kitchen to set the backpack at Midna's booted feet. "There. You happy, O' Queen of Laziness?"

Midna raised an annoyed perfectly arched eyebrow at Shadow, "It's only laziness when you need to do it. Since I didn't, I made you do it. There's a difference."

As Shadow and Midna squabbled with each other in the tiny kitchen, Link left them to go into the bedroom with the two beds where Zelda/Tetra still sat, waiting to see if it was alright for them to come out. Link nodded at the worry on Zelda and Tetra's face, to which Zelda smiled nervously at as they moved toward the kitchen. Shadow looked up at Zelda/Tetra's arrival with poorly hidden shock on his face. "Who's that?" he blurted out without preamble.

"This is Zelda and Tetra," Link said, "They live with me."

Shadow was looking at him like he had lost his marbles but Midna simply stared at the 1.5 girls, with what he couldn't say for sure but it looked like something between surprise and interest. "I'm Midna," she explained, clicking a few buttons on the laptop in front of her, "Nice to meet you. She your girlfriend or something?"

Shadow seemed interested in the answer as well, but Tetra just scoffed at the question with, "Not for all the money in the world and not if he was the last person alive." Zelda seemed to disapprove of her sister's answer and simply stated softly, "No we are not romantically together. We are simple roommates who all wish to be free of Gannondorf's reign of terror."

"So you're both available on the singles market?" Midna asked, her finger hovering over a single button on the keyboard. Zelda and Tetra nodded, Midna grinning only half a second afterwards, "Awesome. So let's get this show on the road." She pressed the button. On a screen that was in front of a portable projector a display of red letters appeared in four steps. On the top the display was labeled **DEFEATING THE EVIL GANNONDORF** in bold red lettering. "Take a seat gentlemen and lady. This might take a little while."

Zelda and Tetra sat next to Midna while Shadow and Link sat at the opposite end of the small round table to face the girls. "Who is she exactly?" Shadow whispered to Link, meaning Zelda/Tetra, who was talking quickly with Midna, "Is she some kind of…invalid or something?"

Link shook his head and said softly into his twin's ear, "Zelda and Tetra are part of a mental disorder called multiple personality disorder or MPD. When they were born they both existed inside their brain and since the body's name is Zelda Tetra Princeton they both took on a name. They write books to support themselves and when they kept getting kicked out of apartment complexes for their dual personalities I took them in. They make great company, especially when Jeopardy is playing."

Shadow nodded like it was something that he completely understood when in reality he only understood the minimal bits of his twin's minimal speech. "Good to know. Midna! Stop flirting and get on with the stupid presentation already."

Midna growled something nasty and illegal to record and began to explain the steps to Link and Zelda. "This is, obviously, the how-to-get-rid-of-Gannondorf plan in four steps. Step number 1: Infiltration. Shadow will go in and pretend to be another hooker/stripper for the money. Link, that's where you come in. You're going to do the recommending. It'll be best since, as your twin brother, Shadow will be almost guaranteed a job.

"Step 2: Gain the Enemy's Trust. You have to do whatever it is you have to do, but Gannondorf won't know any of this. He'll just have to assume that Shadow is just another poor stripping/hooker that he can make money off of.

"Step 3: Find Enemy's Weakness. Shadow will go snooping for info to get you out of Gannondorf's grasp for good, but Gannondorf won't know any of this. With the info that we get from the snooping we'll compile some shit together to make it so that Gannondorf will never want anything to do with either of you ever again.

"And finally Step 4: Defeat the Enemy Once and For All. We'll enact our plan in action and then, hallelujah and praise the lord, you'll be free. How does that sound?"

Link thought about for a full two seconds before Tetra took the words right out of his mouth, "It sounds too good and easy to be real. What's the catch?"

"You're going to be put in danger," Shadow said, crossing his arms and trying to look tough. Link saw something else beneath the surface though – was that fear? It was easier to say because, well, he did the same thing. "Lots of danger," Shadow continued "And it may not work and even then you still have to give us payment. Yeah, don't think that just because we might fail that you're going to miss out on some of _this_." Shadow grinned and used one long silvery finger to slide up his thigh suggestively, adding a wink to Link's eye roll.

Midna grinned and glanced at Zelda/Tetra up and down when they weren't looking, "Yep, we're all getting a little something-something when this is all over with."

Link glanced up and down Shadow like Midna had done with Zelda/Tetra, except without any of the suggestiveness behind it (well, maybe just a little bit). "Damn. Well, suppose I have my work cut out for me then."

Shadow frowned, "And what is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Link gave Shadow a drawl look, "Men primarily want bottoms. I need to teach you how to be more submissive and less of a dick."

Midna and Zelda/Tetra tried to cover their laughter with snorts at Shadow's indignant expression, "Excuse me? I'll have you know that I can so too be submissive." Link rolled his eyes again and knew immediately that Gannondorf would have a field day with trying to break in Shadow. Every pony needed to be ridden once before they went to the fair and all.

"Ladies, as much fun as this is we need to get going," Midna said, tapping her watch, "My information says Gannondorf leaves Gerudo Fantasies in one hour. I need some kind of sleep before tonight you know."

Link and Shadow agreed at that and left as quickly as it was mentioned. Link saw two motorcycles parked in front of the apartment, nice ones, a charcoal black one and a neon orange one, both of the same model and year. Link hesitated before hopping on the back of the charcoal black crotch rocket, holding onto Shadow for dear life and limb. "You ready?" Shadow grinned, and before Link could tell him to go slow he revved the bike up in its throaty purr and zoomed off faster than anything that Link could have imagined (he was sure that the bikes weren't street legal but he wasn't going to say anything to something that might have passed him off as a wimp to his brother). Link watched the scenery flash by in one colorful blur as they didn't stop for stop signs or red lights. Link saw his life flash before his eyes several times over by the time that they reached the building of Gerudo Fantasies, which Link promptly got off the bike and collapsed on the ground from pure exhaustion of worrying for his future as anything.

"You OK there bro?" Shadow grinned, his face above Link's, "Quite the doozy of a ride there. Your first time on a motorcycle?" Link nodded and tried not to throw up as he staggered to stand and hobbled to the backdoor, throwing hateful glances at Shadow whenever the white haired young man whispered, "I took your motorcycle virginity!" Ugh, he was so immature.

A few steps from the motorcycle, Link looked over to the moon's child of him. Shadow halted in his progress towards the door when he saw the look of sheer intensity and seriousness that Link gave him. Shadow gave him his undivided attention , halting his progression, as the blond said, "You'll have to play hooker, stripper, and pleaser to all. Last chance to back out now."

Shadow blinked. Then, his face contorted into a confident smirk. "Please, I've dealt with worse. Just because the big, bad man has you wetting your diapers doesn't mean that I'm scared of him. Hell, I'm pretty sure that the others I've dealt with would put your pimp to shame."

Link scowled but tried one last time. "You realize that you will have to eventually have to have sex with that man, don't you? He will test to see that you're acceptable to customers."

Shadow simply scoffed and put a sassy hand on his hip, "Bitch puh-leaze. I'm pretty sure that if it wasn't for the fact that I'm so damn good at judging health then I would have an STD by now. _That's_ how much of a not-virgin I am. I think that I can handle one horny pimp."

Link's scowl only deepened at Shadow's little speech about his sex life but didn't question him on it for the simple reason of: he didn't want any mental image pictures to pop up and he felt that he would be getting far better acquainted with his brother than he ever wanted, no matter how pretty he was. Link sighed and shook his head knowingly as the two advanced towards the backdoor. Ten feet from Gannondorf's door Link stood up straight and proud, like he refused to be beaten by one man who controlled his safety and future. Shadow noticed the sudden change and followed accordingly, except with perhaps a little more swag than necessary. Link knocked on the door three times before a deep commanding voice inside announced, "Enter." Link and Shadow did so.

Gannondorf was behind his desk with the single lamp on, a calendar on his desk with various shows written on different days, and a laptop that was open to a desert screensaver. One look at Link had mild surprise on it, but when his eyes drifted over to Shadow it was like they almost bugged out of their sockets while still remaining completely intimidating. "Link," he said slowly, watching Shadow like Mr. Krabs watches a winning lottery ticket, "Who is the young man standing behind you?"

"This is Shadow," Link explained, Shadow standing slightly in front of him into the light so that Gannondorf could get a better look at his new merchandise, "He's my twin brother. He needs a job really badly. Could he work here until he gets back on his feet?" Link tried to sound polite and civil to the man who held his future in his meaty palm but the anger and frustration still leaked its way in, even a little bit of pity for his brother. Link was still well convinced that Shadow had no idea as to what he was getting himself into.

Gannondorf didn't seem to notice anything unusual, but then again he had his pervy mad genius moment in his eyes. "You need to be a stripper?" Shadow nodded. Gannondorf leaned back in his comfy chair, cool as a cucumber as he assessed all the things that he could have Link and Shadow do on stage and off stage. Had to check his legal options too concerning that…Then again not really, he had the entire police department wrapped around his little finger. "Start stripping for my benefit. In the corner there is a pole. Use it to your every advantage." Gannondorf switched on a CD and club music poured out.

And so Shadow did. Shadow shrugged off his jacket slowly and as sexy as he could manage, pulling off his top to the steady beat of the music and slithering out of his boots and pants like he couldn't wait to get out of them, dancing and twirling around the pole like he was a sex god. All he had on left were his silky black boxer shorts, and if Link admitted it to himself the show was enough for him to want to know what little (or big) surprise was under that black wrapped gift.

From his position at the pole Shadow had a clear view of Gannondorf's lust glazed eyes as he watched what Shadow could do after watching only a couple of video tapes that had his twin brother up on stage (had to take a cold shower after that) and also a quick tutorial on pole dancing when he was preparing to meet the pimp. Wasn't that hard when you understood the basics and had the muscle strength to hoist yourself up, which both he and Link had in perfect amount. He began to tease the waist band of his boxer shorts, Gannondorf's interest going up two fold and Link's – holy shit was that the smallest bit of a hard on showing? Shadow shot the two men a coquettish smile as he self-congratulated himself on getting his twin brother aroused (no matter however slight) and was to steps from removing his underwear –

- when the song ended. Shadow removed his fingers from the waistband, full on grinning flirtatiously at Gannondorf and Link. "What did you think?" he asked innocently, defiantly in contrast to his half naked appearance, "Was it any good Gannondorf?"

Gannondorf cleared his throat wisely before stating, "You'll do fine here. Will you be doing _all_ that Link does?" So he was insinuating being a whore too. Shadow shrugged as he pulled on his pants, something that translated to yes in Gannondorf's mind. "Good," the big man said, scratching something off the calendar and writing something new in its place, "You'll start tonight. Take these CDs that contain all the shows that are shown here. Memorize the 41st script as position 1 by tonight. You are both dismissed. Oh, and Shadow," the moon's child shivered at the wide, greedy, lust filled smile that Gannondorf's face had contorted into as he said, "Welcome to Gerudo Fantasies."

Link and Shadow left the office, Shadow pulling on his sweater as he walked just behind Link, who seemed to be in a strange rush to leave and get back on the deathtrap of a motorcycle. Shadow grinned as he knew what was happening and dashed to stand before his brother in front of the charcoal colored crotch rocket. "You liked it didn't you? You liked me pole dancing. Come on, admit it, you _liked _it. Otherwise you wouldn't have your little buddy there waking up to come out and play." Shadow, the unsubtle bastard, looked right down at Link's ever so slightly tented pants with a hungry look and then back into Link's quite adorable face.

Link felt his face blush ten shades darker and shook his head furiously at his brother's insinuation. He wasn't even attracted to the man he lost his virginity to and he was pretty damn hot! By all the goddesses that he knew, every single one of them must be laughing their godly asses off by the entertainment that Link was unwillingly giving them. Why did they always feel that it was necessary to torture him repeatedly? Wasn't Rusl and Uli enough when they took them away?

Shadow's grin widened exponentially, missing the small sparks of light that disappeared from his brother's eyes. He leaned forward into his brother's face just slightly, surprising the lights back into the noon time blue eyes, "You do like me a lot, don't you?" Shadow's whispered breath ghosted over his cheeks, the warmth of hi breath actually creating a cooling mint scented breeze over Link's heated face. The sun's child shivered involuntarily at the sensation and looked straight into his twin's eyes to tell him to back off when the most remarkable thing happened – he couldn't do it. Shadow's red ruby eyes captured his full attention, captivating their victim like he couldn't live without them. Shadow, either oblivious to his eyes effect or completely aware and taking advantage of the situation, smirked as he leaned forward, never taking his eye off of his brother's noon day blues, touched their noses, kissed the tip of his nose and then began travelling south. Slowly, achingly so, Link was still surprised when his brother, his twin brother, the Shadow of Hyrule, his savior to his plight, kissed his fully and completely on the lips.

**A/N: No excuse for lateness except mothers, life in general, and four children under the age of seven constantly running around the house.**

**P.S. Much love to MusicGamerGirl who actually wrote **_**4**_** reviews when there were only 3 chapters up. I adore you! Oh, and by the way, I listened to the Sonic Song "Endless Possibilities" like you suggested and I have to say that it does fit the thing that I'm going for! Who knew right? (Well, obviously you did, but that's beside the point).**

**Disclaimer: Don't own and don't gain, simply to entertain**

**Fun Fact: Penguins are the only animals besides humans to display signs of prostitution. When a male penguin goes up to a female penguin that's not his mate, he will trade sex from her for stones to build the female penguin's nest. In conclusion – payment for sex. Who knew? **


End file.
